Skip to content

But It’s Strawberry!


Try making a list. Not a big list. Not a serious, inspiring, motivating, nudge-your-butt TO DO LIST. ‘

No. No. No. No. No.

A Little List. A FUN LIST.

I make a nice, relaxed, no pressure, doesn’t-have-to-be-perfect, not final, not-gonna-be-laminated, fun list of say 3 items.

A list that requires some thought. Something fun to think about. And I give it a name. Because it’s fun giving names to lists. It makes them official. And it’s fun when things are official. Even if they are unofficially official.

Read more

List of Ten: Marcus Aurelius and Andrew Tate


The “List of Ten” is, generally speaking, a list I make of random items I want to keep for later. I add to it as little luxuries like podcasts and playlists and images float across my laptop.

Mine from this week is down below. There are some long podcasts included. For those who fear three hour podcasts, a reminder that you can just jump to the timestamp you want and skip the content you don’t care about.

So here goes my List of Ten.



(1)    “Actively engaged in figuring out how to figure out”

This is how Scott Adams described his audience in Coffee with Scott Adams.

I wasn’t listening to the subject matter. It was something I ignore when he talks about it. I mostly listen for his logic and analysis. I listen for his lessons. And the dirty stuff.
Coffee is on YouTube for free, Locals for $$.

POSSIBLY HELPFUL INFO: I use Microsoft OneNote for Mac to make my lists. This is a great video from Leila Gharani that explains how to use the basic organizational features.

She’s easy to follow and the video is simple to watch. I like the search functionality on OneNote. I wish it had better Export features, but it might and I just haven’t learned them yet.

(2) Mark Parisi’s Cartoon


I’m still trying to figure out Mark Parisi’s Squid cartoon, which reminds me to see what that squid game was all about. Which reminds me I haven’t watched anything funny yet this week.

Read more

But It’s Strawberry!


Try making a list. Not a big list. Not a serious, inspiring, motivating, nudge-your-butt TO DO LIST. ‘

No. No. No. No. No.

A Little List. A FUN LIST.

I make a nice, relaxed, no pressure, doesn’t-have-to-be-perfect, not final, not-gonna-be-laminated, fun list of say 3 items.

A list that requires some thought. Something fun to think about. And I give it a name. Because it’s fun giving names to lists. It makes them official. And it’s fun when things are official. Even if they are unofficially official.

Read more

Why Do Side Effects Matter?

Bella forgot to take her meds.

(This impassioned speech was in response to a question asked on LinkedIn. That is attached below.)

Side effects matter for those who can’t work if they are sedated, lethargic, losing their balance, falling, confused, unable to find words to make sentences, crying while speaking or unable to understand the directions they are being given. All because of side effects from medications that have to be at a high enough dosage to actually treat the symptoms of the related disorder effectively.

That is why side effects matter to us. Because we need to work.

If you are interested in getting health insurance to pay for treatments that enable you to be free of your worst symptoms and able to work, you might be interested in this conversation. Even just as an example of how a person like me, a nobody in the grand scheme of things, starts a conversation like this.

I could have had this treatment seven years ago. In theory. In reality, I wouldn’t have been able to get it, but I would have started fighting for it. It has changed my life completely. I have gone from planning my death to planning my life.

Are your side effects keeping you from living your life? Or are you unable to get to your effective dosage because the side effects disable you and keep you from working? Maybe there is treatment with fewer side effects. Maybe you can get insurance to pay for it. Like I did.

If you are sick of reading about #TMS, if this stuff is not for you, don’t worry. It’s over.

And I PROMISE the very next post will be F.U.N.


Or, as Missy used to say, it will be FUNNER!

Happy Friday Eve.

Do something different today.

I did something different and it changed my entire life.

xoxo2nth, d and bella

And JK about Bella. She doesn’t take any meds. She meditates and does yoga.



This is the LinkedIn post that prompted my response on LinkedIn today – which prompted this post – which violated my own rule that I wouldn’t post anymore about TMS for a while – but it’s okay, because we’re flexible now that we’ve had TMS. : )

@donnalewisdc on linkedin


90 Day Fiancé is really getting good.  I usually highly recommend it. Now I super duper highly recommend it.  Times two.  If you watch it, you’ll find out what neuro-spiciness is.

And Match Me Abroad too! So good!

Now,  does anyone know where one can watch the first five years of MTV over and over again. Is there a way to do that?

Playing MTV years 1981-1986 in the background would be amazing. And I’m not just talking video clips. I want the mix of videos and talking so I feel like Martha Quinn and Nina Blackwood are hanging out with me. Those two  could go everywhere with me on my laptop. Now THAT would be fun.

Read more


Somebody I said Ruh-Roh to this past week didn’t know the reference. What’s the age cutoff for that reference?

And today somebody posted a quote by a pretty well know Buddhist and I disagreed. Is that bad karma?

How much weight does that stuff carry?

I call BS. Even though I really like a lot of Buddhism. I just don’t believe this one part.

Read more

Who Are We?

On what subjects or topics could you present for 40 minutes?
With minimal preparation?

I’ill post mine along with yours in the comments.

You go first. No, You. You.


What’s Your Thing?


Everyone is completely fascinated by something. Completely drawn to something.
What is your fascination? What is your thing?
And is it mostly good for you or not really so good?

Your fascination may be something new.  Or maybe it’s something you’ve been fascinated with all your life.
It may be something or someone.
Maybe it’s more than one thing. Maybe you are attracted to, drawn to, devoted to more than one thing.
But remember, we’re talking fascinated. F-a-S-c-I-n-A-t-E-D

Do you currently engage with your fascination in a way that is satisfying to you? Did you in the past? The near past? Far past?
Do you want to engage with your fascination the same, more or less?

Do you engage with your fascination in a way that is satisfying to the person or people whose opinion you care about most?
Do they want you to engage  the same, more or less?
And how does that work with with your responses to the questions you just answered?

Trying to figure out whether to punch, hike or walk. Need a better default method for decision making. Current default doesn’t work on days ending in day.

But it tastes good.

Hope your Saturday has more good parts than bad.
Hope you’re moving in the right direction.
Even if it’s hard. Hope it’s the direction you want.

Show your work. 

xoxoxo, d and bella



Something in Your Story

Something in your story will save someone else. It may not save their life, but it may save their day. Or their night.

Your story could save someone a lot of pain.  Or money. Or going in the wrong direction.

Someone needs to hear your story.

If you are ready, and only if you are ready, share your story. Or part of it. The juicy part. JK

But truth. Someone needs to hear your story.

Stories are life savers.  Share if you can.

Happy Friday

Try the New York Times Questions with someone you like.

Or someone you might like.


xoxoxo, d and bella



Ketamine, TMS, Gel Polish and Pineapple

How much longer are you going to go on and on about depressing things?

It ends now.

What’s your point anyway?

Ketamine got me through the final few years just before I began TMS treatment. And honestly, I did not think I would make it through those years. But Ketamine kept me going. But that was hard.

But I do not need Ketamine anymore. I have TMS now.

I still need medication. But the combination of TMS and medication has almost completely stopped intrusive thoughts of violence and death. Almost. And almost is Heaven.

How long will it last?

It’s lasting for a period that gets longer every day.  I guess we’ll find out how long is lasts with tweaking and boosters. I am hopeful. I have never been hopeful. And it’s real.

Do you have anything more to say?

I’m not saying anything about intrusive thoughts anymore.

Well, that’s probably not true. Because if you have any questions, I will answer those.

But I’m switching subjects. I am putting TMS, CBT, CBD, ECT, OCD, MDD, GAD, MOT, ETC on the shelf.

What will you write about now?

I will write about my dog. Because Bella is funny every minute of the day.

Anything else? 

Look into Ketamine and TMS if you are in certain types of pain.

Because who knows.


xoxoxo, d and bella


P.S. My boyfriend’s in Time Magazine this month CLICK THE HEART . 🤎

If this works, I’ll die.


No. It didn’t work. But I will figure out how to make a clickable link heart.

In the meantime. My boyfriend is HERE AT THIS HERE LINK RIGHT HERE.

There’s a paragraph that begins with “I had a certain expectation of……….

I have the EXACT OPPOSITE response as the author.

I’m wondering what you thought.


Halfway Huggers


What’s the current status on hugging? Is there any good source of current guidance on that in light of the world’s current intensities? I feel like it’s either all or nothing. Maybe there are  two camps:  huggers and non-huggers. Oh. But there are halfway huggers too. They want to hug, but they’re not really huggers…. but they want to hug.

Read more

Brenda and Dylan

My money was always on Brenda and Dylan. I never believed in Dylan and Kelly. I mean I get that Dylan wanted to save Kelly. Everyone wanted to save Kelly. Kelly had many circumstances that she needed to be saved from because she was kind of a baby. But Dylan needed someone tougher than Kelly and Brenda was definitely a billion times tougher than Kelly. Brenda was the real deal. Brenda didn’t need the Peach Pit. She went off to find her own life and be a real actress. She didn’t wait around for Dylan to make up his mind. That’s my kind of girl.

But I did love their little threesome. And I watched it over and over and over. For decades. Because they were my family.

Read more

When is A Lot Too Much?


Sometimes it feels like the wrong questions are getting asked. Or that the questions asked aren’t the helpful questions that will lead to answers.

Sometimes we want to say “why don’t you ask this: _____________?”  But it’s hard to say that for lots of reasons.  And that’s another ten essays.

Read more

What Do You Want?


Watch Mark Manson’s videos on YouTube if you have only read his books.  And definitely read his books. He says everything in such a simple, direct way that makes total sense.  And he’s really nice.  So it’s nice hanging out with him.

Read more

Can’t Start a Fire Without a Spark.

The real challenge of writing comic strips and cartoons is that I’m not always in the lightest of moods.  So no matter what’s going down, or how much of it there is, I still need to produce something decent on deadline.  And once the editors send those off to the printers, they are gone. Even if they are too dark.  And sometimes they are too dark, I think. But I guess every writer, artist and creator of a regularly scheduled work product feels the same pressure at various points. Sometimes you just aren’t producing your most amazing work. But your work gets published anyway. And it is what it is. 

It’s like getting your school photo taken on the days you feel sick.

Read more

Adventures of an A.T. Widow


No, Boo!

Adventures of an AT Widow is the tragic love story of a heartbroken young lawyer, abandoned by her cruel S.O. who left her alone on the sofa while he dashed off to discover the dangerous wilds of the Appalachian Trail.

He chose 2,200 miles of unknown who-knows-what just to get away from his significant other’s total failures at cooking, cleaning and html coding. At least that’s how it’s written in my script. But no, that’s not exactly what happened in real life.

I am not yet so shallow and self-obsessed to think the dude hiked 2,200 miles just to get away from me.  He could have gotten away from me far more easily than that.  A restraining order would have been cheaper and faster. Plus, I could have gotten one for him. I would have been a pal and helped him out that way. I know my way around a courthouse.

Read more
Back To Top