It was a week of intentional distractions from the stress of a situation that’s 100% out of my control.
Don’t you love those?
God, grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change…
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference.
Okay, God. I’m on it. I get it. I can’t do anything about it.
Nothing. Nada. Zero. Not a thing.
So of course I only say “but maybe,” “if only,” “but just” and “but what if” about a thousand times a day.
I fell in love with Adrienne Shelly long before she wrote and directed the amazing Indie film Waitress. You can read about her incredible achievements in this article from The Guardian.
I first saw Adrienne Shelly in 1989 in The Unbelievable Truth, directed by Hal Hartley. In the movie, Shelly played Audry, an intoxicating and breathtaking high schooler headed for college and obsessed with the threat of nuclear destruction. A year later, Shelly played Maria in Hal Hartley’s Trust. The plot of Trust and the description of Shelly’s character are too crazy and complex to describe succinctly. But it doesn’t matter because you’ll end up watching the movie ten times if you watch it just once.
Here are some links to websites that help you figure out the best approach for your needs. There are so many ways to journal. And you don’t have to be a writer. You might just want to make lists. You might like bullet lists. You might prefer calendars. Personally, I keep a daily journal using DayViewer.
I also journal in greater detail by event. For that, I tend to use MicroSoft OneNote. I like OneNote because it automatically updates while you’re adding to it throughout your meeting, event or day. I use OneNote on both PC and Mac. I use it on PC for work and on Mac for other stuff.
In case you’re overwhelmed by the thought of a journal or intimidated by the thought of writing, good news! You don’t have to produce anything amazing. My journals are made up of phrases and lists and words and curse words and exclamation points and doodles and quotes and, quite often, the word DUH. Although sometimes I type it this way: D.U.H.
More on journaling later. In the meantime, think about yours!
Or at least put journaling on your list!
Dr. Julie Osborn, a therapist specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), shares her experiences in the field and helps her listeners; addressing the issues they face and the situations they find themselves in. CBT is a short-term, goal-orientated psychotherapy treatment that takes a hands-on, practical approach to problem solving. Dr. Osborn teaches how cognitive behavioral therapy can be used everyday in our lifelong pursuit of happiness.
Do other people get annoyed with you because you act or react a certain way?Do you feel like you’re always messing up or losing relationships because of certain behaviors?Do you feel hopeless and stuck in an endless pattern of negative thoughts and automatic reactions?In this episode, Dr Julie h…
Do you struggle with negative feelings – anxiety, loneliness, depression, resentment, anger, fear?Do you wish you could just make them all go away?In this episode, Dr Julie shares with you a CBT technique that will empower you to reframe your thoughts and feelings in a positive way, bringing yo…
Do you feel exhausted trying to keep up with other people’s expectations of you?Do you feel like you’re constantly being judged?In this episode, Dr Julie looks at the insecurities and anxieties many of us feel in response to other’s perceived judgement of us. She explains some of the reasons these in…
Do you struggle to communicate your desires and preferences?Do you feel like people walk all over you and you are powerless to change it?In this episode, Dr Julie talks about what it means to be assertive in a healthy way, how it can benefit you and how to do it. Using the power of Cognitive Beh…
What is the difference between personality quirks and a personality disorder?Why do people have personality disorders?If you’re in a relationship with someone with a personality disorder, what is the best way to deal with that? In this episode, Dr Julie Osborn helps demystify personality disorders, ex…
Wow. Two of my favorites! Marc Maron interviewing Ricki Lee Jones.
1246 EpisodesShareFollow77 minutes | May 20th 2021
Rickie Lee Jones is, first and foremost, a storyteller. She realized at a young age that she could process her feelings and tell her own story through the fiction of songs. As she tells Marc, that same impulse prompted her to write a memoir in which she could present her life story through the narrative of her extended family of vaudevillians. Rickie Lee and Marc also talk about her formative and tumultuous relationship with Tom Waits and why it’s hard for her to reminisce about her early albums and the hits that made her a star. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
I was on Amtrak’s Northeast Regional from DC to Baltimore when I got the alert that Kate Spade had ended her life. I couldn’t believe it and I desperately searched the internet for posts that proved the news a hoax.
But it wasn’t a hoax and the horrible news was confirmed immediately by credible sources.
I texted my sister-in-law.
“Kate Spade killed herself.”
Knowing she would be pressed for the best way to respond, I added “I can’t un-know that.”
Kakki, the sister I had always wanted, texted back.
“oh no,” she said.
I’m a big fan of leaving the house.
I don’t do it often, but I enthusiastically support the practice.
One of the great things about leaving the house is witnessing other humans’ experiences of life. Other people are a good reminder about how little influence your own perceptions could have if you’d just give them less rope to run around with.
This morning I left the house. I went to an office I go to now and again.
My Facebook feed has recently been adorned with enthusiastic, bold t-shirts for suicide awareness.
The t-shirts shout out loudly that nobody fights suicide alone.
This week I lent my support to the #metoo campaign of women and men helping to make more women and men aware of what we all supposedly already know, but apparently also don’t know.
Really? We still don’t know?
I’m sorry. I guess I thought we all knew.
And honestly, I thought one of the reasons we all knew was because it had happened to most, if not all of us.
“100% of effective people seem to have read that book.”
Listening to Scott Adams plugging Influence by Robert Cialdini. Tim Ferris asked him for his opinion on best book ever (or book he’d be most likely to gift to others). This is a great listen for Scott Adams fans. He covers broad territory – from hypnosis to affirmations (always fascinating) to cartooning to Builder protein bars.
So I’m moving on to ‘Influence’ after I finish Tools of Titans. I’ve pretty much reached the point where I’ll do whatever Tim Ferris says to do. If Scott Adams seeks to eliminate decision making from his daily routine, I am seeking Tim Ferris to make my decisions for me.
I’m sorry the title of today’s offering isn’t better.
I should have written something about a happy or joyous year, right?
But seriously, happy and joyous aren’t my goals.
I wouldn’t mind being happy and joyous, mind you. It’s just that I don’t generally set out to be happy and joyous. Generally, I set out to be functioning and, hopefully, very high functioning.
The puppy who’s no longer a puppy has been fed, walked, watered and thrown balls to.
Well, they weren’t actually balls. They were actually pieces of penne pasta, if you must know.
This puppy who’s no longer a puppy likes the half-crunchy-half-chewy pieces from the top of the casserole. So she gets them thrown across the room and she chases them down.
She’s not too spoiled.
Okay. Phone rang. Answered phone. Call over.
Back to Rob Kardashian and Part II of how his experiences with depression can help others.
(2) Sometimes it’s hard for the Person With Depression (PWD) to pick up the phone.
So there are a bunch of episodes where Rob disappears.
As the official disappearing member of my family, these episodes are especially special to me.
For months I’ve been wanting to write about my (completely one-sided) love affair with Rob Kardashian.
Yes, I love the guy.
I love him for unwittingly bringing to light what it’s really like to live with a condition you just can’t manage so gracefully.
Even with money.
Now I’ll get the info in sets of three since I follow all three sources.
I like Tom Brokaw. I like him in all of the basic ways – as a professional, as a journalist, as a man, as a human. He’s a good egg.
I’ve followed Mr. Brokaw’s journey through his diagnosis of multiple myeloma at the age of 73.
I like people with issues, especially medical issues and major life crises.
I like watching people confront struggle and triumph over life’s bad badnesses.
I like witnessing the humility of life’s constant reminders that we’re SO not in control when it all comes down to it.
I like when good, reputable, professional, accomplished, successful eggs like Tom Brokaw share their experiences of real life’s ongoing struggles. It helps me to know that I am not alone in feeling alone. And it helps to give me words to define my own struggle…and ways to understand my own struggle.
Specifically, I’ve been working lately to come up with my own “take” on my message. For the first time in my life, I’m sharing the stories behind my art, none of which are lovely, upbeat or positive. My art is dark and morbid and depressing. My art is the art of depression, which is dark, morbid and depressing, at least for me.
So basically it goes like this:
I’ve spent a lifetime living with depression. I’ve created a ton of art inspired by my dark experience. The art is dark. And now I’m sharing.
The thing is that darkness scares people. They assume you’re in the dark place at the very time when they themselves experience the darkness you’re sharing, even though the darkness you’re sharing could have been inspired by experiences from ages (or hours) ago.
So I like the idea of “Learning to Live With“….because it reinforces the reality that when you experience anything difficult, you experience it on a continuum. You experience the discovery of the difficulty as you define it and identify its scope. You experience the difficulty as you have it, hate it, fight it, embrace it, and own it. You experience the difficulty as you fix it and then move on to recovering from the fixing phase.
And then you clean up. You experience the cleaning up of the odds and ends that invariably result from any life disruption.
And then, just when you thought you’ve cleaned everything up and put everything back into its proper place, you experience the fact that your normal is no longer the normal that other people experience.
And, if you have a chronic condition, the cycle repeats.
And repeats. And repeats. And repeats.
I suspect my next essay will be about the stages of living with depression…. or whatever difficulty, struggle, condition or other life reality you’re living with. Because yes, we are all living with something. And yes, we are all somewhere in the journey or process….somewhere in the stages.
And it’s life.
It’s just life.
So go live it.
And help others live it if you’re lucky enough to be in one of the easier stages today.
I am in chains. Don’t touch my chains.
Giving real life stories value, purpose and power.
The end is built into the beginning.