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List of Ten: Marcus Aurelius and Andrew Tate


The “List of Ten” is, generally speaking, a list I make of random items I want to keep for later. I add to it as little luxuries like podcasts and playlists and images float across my laptop.

Mine from this week is down below. There are some long podcasts included. For those who fear three hour podcasts, a reminder that you can just jump to the timestamp you want and skip the content you don’t care about.

So here goes my List of Ten.



(1)    “Actively engaged in figuring out how to figure out”

This is how Scott Adams described his audience in Coffee with Scott Adams.

I wasn’t listening to the subject matter. It was something I ignore when he talks about it. I mostly listen for his logic and analysis. I listen for his lessons. And the dirty stuff.
Coffee is on YouTube for free, Locals for $$.

POSSIBLY HELPFUL INFO: I use Microsoft OneNote for Mac to make my lists. This is a great video from Leila Gharani that explains how to use the basic organizational features.

She’s easy to follow and the video is simple to watch. I like the search functionality on OneNote. I wish it had better Export features, but it might and I just haven’t learned them yet.

(2) Mark Parisi’s Cartoon


I’m still trying to figure out Mark Parisi’s Squid cartoon, which reminds me to see what that squid game was all about. Which reminds me I haven’t watched anything funny yet this week.

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Ketamine, TMS, Gel Polish and Pineapple

How much longer are you going to go on and on about depressing things?

It ends now.

What’s your point anyway?

Ketamine got me through the final few years just before I began TMS treatment. And honestly, I did not think I would make it through those years. But Ketamine kept me going. But that was hard.

But I do not need Ketamine anymore. I have TMS now.

I still need medication. But the combination of TMS and medication has almost completely stopped intrusive thoughts of violence and death. Almost. And almost is Heaven.

How long will it last?

It’s lasting for a period that gets longer every day.  I guess we’ll find out how long is lasts with tweaking and boosters. I am hopeful. I have never been hopeful. And it’s real.

Do you have anything more to say?

I’m not saying anything about intrusive thoughts anymore.

Well, that’s probably not true. Because if you have any questions, I will answer those.

But I’m switching subjects. I am putting TMS, CBT, CBD, ECT, OCD, MDD, GAD, MOT, ETC on the shelf.

What will you write about now?

I will write about my dog. Because Bella is funny every minute of the day.

Anything else? 

Look into Ketamine and TMS if you are in certain types of pain.

Because who knows.


xoxoxo, d and bella


P.S. My boyfriend’s in Time Magazine this month CLICK THE HEART . 🤎

If this works, I’ll die.


No. It didn’t work. But I will figure out how to make a clickable link heart.

In the meantime. My boyfriend is HERE AT THIS HERE LINK RIGHT HERE.

There’s a paragraph that begins with “I had a certain expectation of……….

I have the EXACT OPPOSITE response as the author.

I’m wondering what you thought.


Save Me



The best thing about having a new brain is that it’s receptive to everything. Everything is possibly the best thing in the whole entire world.

And everything is possibly the answer to the puzzle that could never be solved, but maybe now can be.

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