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Pop Up Coffee Hang Out Thing


I need a Pop Up Coffee Hang Out Thing.

Not a hug, cry, or bitch-and-moan sesh, nothing like that.

Just a quick get together at a coffee shop where I can just say what’s going on and get it out.

Just a quick vent.

But it’s midday and midweek. It’s not exactly hang out and have coffee time in Washington, DC where we keep our heads down a lot of the time.

And I represent DC. well. I have deadlines upon deadlines. And projects. So many projects.

But for now, I just need to vent. So you guys are my Pop Up Coffee.

I’ll just vent and get back to work.  Okay, great.

Venting is hugely underrated.

So  this is my first official issue since my therapist left.

My therapist closed her practice. And even though I found a new therapist, realized I don’t want to go to a new therapist.  Even though it turns out that the new therapist is really nice and  seems to be pretty smart too.

The real problem is that the new therapist meets in the actual physical world.

And, as much as I love forays into the real world, I don’t have that kind of time during the workweek anymore..

For the past several Covid and post-Covid years, my therapy  was 40 minutes a week by Zoom. And Zoom Therapy was perfect. Get in, get out, get it done.

And therapy had really become me checking-in with someone sane (and unrelated) to make sure my brain was in a healthy place and that my CBT-based emergency plans were in good working order.  My therapist’s greatest value was as an early detection warning system.  A great therapist can sense if you might benefit from an extra check-in.

Maybe I was extra stressed out because of work or family obligations. Maybe I had financial or legal issues on my mind. Therapy provided a place for me to take an inventory of my world and make sure I was in charge of my brain and that my brain wasn’t in charge of me. In other words, it was a place to make sure that no matter how vulnerable or overwhelmed I became, all of my safeguards stayed safely in place.

And she was good at it. We were both good at it. We had the check-in down. We were efficient.

And now she’s gone.

And I did the smart thing. I found somebody else.

But man, oh man.

He does this thing called meeting at an office in person. And I have to actually drive there. During the workday.

Which means leaving work.


There is just no other way of saying it.

I can’t do it.

I can’t spend all that time driving to a forty-minute session where I now have to explain how my ridiculous life got that way. It sucks.

And all for what? Just to make sure I stay on the safe side of  a suicidal brain?

Oh yeah. Well, I guess there’s that one extremely important reason to continue in therapy. .

But I’m not suicidal. I’ve had TMS treatments! TMS has changed my life.

But what if this and what if that.

I know. I know. We don’t know how long TMS will last.

Oh well.

I’ll just say that it is hard as anything to sit for forty minutes of therapy after you have lost the compulsion to kill yourself.

Granted, I still want to kill other people, but that inspiration only motivates me to have more energy and more fun.  Wanting to kill other people instead of myself makes life more exciting! It makes me want to socialize and interact with others.

But it certainly doesn’t motivate me to sit on a therapist’s couch.

For now, I’ll ask the new therapist if we can do Zoom. Because seriously, I don’t have the time to drive there. Zoom is great because it cuts out all of the running around time that could be spent on work, where I am supposed to be during the day.

So let’s focus on that. I will now, in plain view of my three loyal readers, practice healthy decisionmaking transparently via my blog.

I will find out if this new professional is comfortable providing therapy on Zoom. And I will find out if the insurance company will compensate him for that method of delivery.

And I will keep you posted.

Because I know this is just the type of thrilling content you look for here on the daily dee blog. Gripping moment-to-moment action capturing the real life management of a brain that has no idea what’s coming at it next.

I really hope he’ll do Zoom. Because I definitely do not enjoy therapy enough to drive there.

No disrespect intended to any therapists anywhere. Believe me when I say there is actually very little I love enough to drive for.

And I mean that in the most positive way. Believe me.

In the meantime, let’s focus on YOU.

You should Do Something Different today.

Here are some ideas based on things I have done differently so far in May:

  • Switch to less fatty potato chips (but don’t tell the dog)
  • Open more windows
  • Listen to just 20 minutes of any podcast that goes beyond an hour
  • Change the color of your nail polish
  • Put your hair up
  • Read what someone you love is reading
  • Switch from Asian to Italian
  • Make journal entries in a different format
  • Create a Virtual Pop Up (Sangha, Support Group, Reading Group, Writers Group)
  • Take your hair down
  • Look up something cool and learn about it for 15 minutes (set a timer)
  • Try self-tanning moisturizer
  • Send someone a fun something
  • Watch just 40 minutes of a movie
  • Change the line of your eye liner
  • Buy a straw
  • Try YouTube for News Delivery
  • Watch what someone you love is watching
  • Listen to the most popular songs from the year you were in the 9th grade
  • Watch less Andrew Huberman (but still watch him!)
  • Learn how to use a timer
  • Make a timeline
  • Watch less am Scott Adams and more pm Scott Adams
  • Try eating pasta with a spoon
  • Read about the difference between missions and goals
  • Send a thank you note to someone who helped you get through a hard time
  • Watch more silly Lex Fridman podcasts instead of the heavy duty ones that are so hard to understand
  • Walk the dog a different route
  • Mail a letter or card
  • Switch to a different form of your favorite drink (switch from cans to bottles or cups, etc)

Let us know what you do, especially if it’s good.

Someone I love recommended the new Tom Hanks movie on Netflix. So maybe check that out.

I recommended anything and everything John Mulaney to someone today. He had never heard of John Mulaney.

Do Something Different. Listen to John Mulaney.

And try the timeline thing. It’s really good for writers and really good for getting back more details of memories you are trying to recall.

And have a great Tuesday.

xoxoxo, d (and bella)




This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. I sympathize! I have been working remotely since March 2020, and I now want nearly everything to be on Zoom or other online platform. I do not like driving to-and-fro to something I have mixed feelings about, no matter how much good it might be doing me. If and when I go back to therapy, I will be looking for Zoom sessions for sure.

    Full disclosure, it was not prompted by reading your blog, but I did do something different. I planned my first big trip since 2019. I have not been in an airport or on a plane since then. Now I have to remember all the tips and strategies for travelling. Thank goodness for my list of what to bring (because of course I have a list)!

  2. Yay! I am planning trips too! And it’s so much fun to look for places to go!

    I can’t wait to actually go somewhere. : )

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