And Then What Happened?

I think a lot about age these days. I think the age I’m at is probably a pretty good age. I’ve definitely paid my dues and earned my keep. I feel like I have paid my dues plus some, to be honest,  I feel like I have lost a lot. Relatively speaking. But there’s still time to have adventures.  So I’m focused on the adventures.

And that sums up my life.

I don’t mean for that to sound so brash or generic, but I’m taking a scriptwriting course and I’m learning to recognize and summarize stories.

It sounds weird to say I’m learning to recognize stories, because we think stories are obvious, but they actually aren’t always.  Stories are not always plain to the eye because your eye is used to seeing what it’s used to looking for. If that makes any sense. And yes, that is science you just heard me summarize. The science-y kind.

So anyway, I’m learning to look for stories with a new eye, a new perspective, a non-suicidal perspective.

For instance, I’m an often-suicidal cartoonist lawyer. You would think there’s a good story right there, but actually there’s not.

Because who can relate to my story? Nobody.

So no. My personal stories are not very relatable. But they’re funny. But they’re not fascinating.

However, the life I’m currently living in real time is presenting real time stories to me that are riveting. And I don’t know how they will turn out. And those are the stories I am trying to capture.

So I’m learning how to write up movie treatments.

I’m glad my friend S doesn’t read this blog.  He would say “Whaaaaa???? Is she CRAZY? What the hell is she doing now? For God’s sake, pick something and stick with it!”

And I say “That’s not how I became a cartoonist and completely changed my life once already.”

I became a cartoonist by trying something completely different (I,e, improv). And it turned out really good in a surprising way I never saw coming,

So now that my brain is getting fixed for real, I’m ready to add screenwriting to my resume so I can try something completely different creatively.

Because – and this might sound a little OCD – having a creative project (i.e., screenwriting) helps me create in other places (cartooning).

And who knows, but maybe I will get someone to read my movie treatments.

And maybe the odds are zero of anything changing, but who cares? It’s really fun!! And it’s therapeutic. And it’s helping me get my memory back.

So now that I don’t have to kill myself, I can learn how to write movie scripts.  Because why not. Maybe there’s a new adventure ahead in that arena.

There must be a new adventure ahead since I don’t currently feel the constant, urgent need to plan my life’s exit. THAT in and of itself is a new adventure.

So get my point.

Do something different.

Do something different today. Or at least look something up. Look into something. Get some information. Consider something new.

I cartooned by accident and something about putting pictures together with words REALLY took hold of me and saved my life.  Cartooning saved me while I was waiting for the diagnosis and treatment that finally worked. It takes a village, people. It’s never just one thing.

So find something that can save your life or change your life. If your life needs saving or changing.

Or maybe just wait for the movie. It’s going to be amazing. #PositiveVisualization #GOALS

🤎

Happy Saturday.

Do Something Different.

Get There Faster.

xoxoxo, d and bella

Link below to a blog that inspires me creatively.

Hanif Kureishi on Substack

And a REALLY GREAT DOC! Watch it!

The Speed Cubers!!