100 Great Comebacks.

When I think of a great book title, it means I’m straying from task.

And I think of great book titles all day long.

Then I type them into my daily journal. Then I debate whether to add them to my list of possible book titles or possible chapters for my book, which will never be finished if I keep adding titles and chapters.

Then I consider using the new book title on the website for ‘Current Project.’  I change my ‘Current Project’ every few days to see if any project in particular grabs anybody’s eye. When I get some readers besides my three loyals (hi, guys!), I’ll let you know how that works out.

So today’s great book title is “100 Great Comebacks.”

Since I have scenes in my head when I’m on deadline, instead of working on my deadline, I play all the roles in those scenes to their hilt, to their highly dramatic ends. To their beautiful, logical, perfect comebacks.

Then, obviously, I memorialize these comebacks by typing them into my daily journal, etc etc.

So now I have a long list of great comebacks.

Today’s comeback is a particular favorite:

That’s because you think it’s a game.

Ooooooooh. Good one, right?

“You did what you did or you said what you said because you think it’s a game.”

And then, of course, the other person says “Of course that is obviously the most untrue thing in the entire world of untrue things.”

And YOU say…. “You DO! You DO think it’s a game! You did what you did because you thought you could manipulate the outcome. You thought you could direct me to act and react like a puppet! You thought you could make me respond in a particular way! Well, I’m NOT a puppet! And puppets are a GAME! You played a GAME! Why? Why? WHY I ask you?

Because you think it’s a game. 

See? Great comeback.

This is what I do when I am straying from task.

So let me get back to task.  And you should too.

Before that, though, let me just mention that today’s Reply All comic strip has been really popular, which means its sentiment is universal. Here ’tis:

I’ve come to think that everything in life comes down to whether or not you think there’s a problem.

With OCD, you make a problem out of everything. Times a billion. Plus a billion. To the billionth.

With depression, you can’t even think about the problem.

With anxiety, OMG, what if there’s a problem? And what if the problem is even worse than the other problem? OMG? What will happen then? There is definitely going to be a problem.

With narcissism, everybody else has a problem. And you are an expert on it. And they are an idiot about it. And that is that.

With borderline personality disorder, just get away. You don’t know what you are talking about. Or you do. It’s one or the other.

With paranoia, you don’t know anything about any problem and you won’t say if you do.

With bipolar, well it depends on the time of day whether there’s a problem or wheeeeeeee!

Who or what are we missing here? Well, I guess we missed ADD and ADHD, but isn’t their joke always the same? Isn’t it always “oooh! a bright shiny light!” or something like that? If you have a better characterization of any of these, please let us know. And please know that this was not scientific in any way even though it appears to be very science-y.

The point is that we can make a problem of anything. And some of us do.

But we don’t have to.

Seven years ago, I met my amazing therapist, after a particularly bad downturn and crisis related to my mental health.  But once the crisis was relieved, she taught me to say “there’s no problem” when, in fact, there was no problem.

She taught me this because I had fallen into depression and I was raging with OCD. So there was a HUGE sense of BIG problems plus NEW ONES in the making.

But I learned, through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), to replace my “there’s a problem” thinking with “there’s NO problem” thinking.

And then, from then on, I relied on CBT to get through each day, reassuring myself that there is no problem.

And it worked.

And then, last October, I began TMS. And this month, when my therapist retires, I will often feel (as in ACTUALLY FEEL) as if there is no problem, Because TMS is undoing the locked up knots that OCD tied the neural pathways in my brain up into. TMS is activating  areas of my brain that are enabling me to skip the problem thinking. Now my brain doesn’t need to think there’s a problem.

My brain doesn’t need to think there’s a problem.

Can you believe it’s possible?

We’re hoping it lasts.

And I’m hoping this blog provides hope to at least one person that something is out there for you to try that will change your life in such a big way that you will be able to type into your daily journal the following words:

Today I feel like there is no problem.

Or, today, even though life is happening and I am handling the very real things that make life challenging, I feel like there is no problem.

Or, for short, no problem.

Or, for shorter, np. But for real np.

Okay, I should really get back to work. Or there actually will be a problem.

Even though there probably won’t be.

Okay, everybody, back to task! Or comebacks!

And Happy Friday. 🤎

May your problems be few and your anxiety over problems minimal and easily manageable.

xoxoxoxo, d (and bella)