For All the Tired Brains.

Lying – not laying – on the sofa, resting the brain, looks suspiciously similar to laying on the sofa doing any number of other things that look like doing nothing.

My brain is overloaded and feels like it needs to shut down  Even though I still have lots of things I want to do.

My brain needs to take a night off. Even though I want to go out with friends and visit family and do some Zoom and draw some stuff and write some more.

But no, the diva brain is just not really having any of that. Diva brain wants to be horizontal and chill.

So me and my brain are relaxing on the sofa. Under the blankies. Under the dog.

Just doing a lot of nothing.

And it feels really good.

It makes sense that my brain is tired since my head is getting hammered on every day.

But it’s worth it. Every tap-tap-tap is gold, changing the neural pathways and breaking down a system of hardwired rules that has been holding me hostage.

And THAT’S just the fun part.

Every once in a while someone will observe that I talk about my brain as if it’s an other something and not me.

Sometimes the conversation gets into the territory of psychosis and whether I think my brain is talking to me . Or whether I think “they” are in charge of my brain.

And then sometimes the conversation is about the frustrating (to me) semantics around brain vs. mind. There are different definitions of the brain and mind in psychology and psychiatry. Unfortunately, I confuse those differences when I write about my living experience. And that frustrates certain professionals in my life who wants me to only use the word mind and not brain.

But I can’t.

Because it’s a whole thing about how I view the hostile occupation of my head by my brain. I feel like I have never been able to freely experience my mind because my hostile brain is governing my head and directing all behavior and activity.

So yeah. My brain is tired.

But I’m sure it will feel more recovered tomorrow since today was no TMS and there were extra naps too!

And I’m hoping maybe I can learn better methods of relaxing the brain now that I don’t have to host constant or recurrent thoughts of violence and harm. Now I want to think of nice things and new projects and new adventures. I don’t want to spend the day debating about whether to do something bad.

So I will try to ease my hammered mind, which is literally what it sounds like.  Or not.  Depending on the definitions of mind and hammered.

Tell me about your brain experience! Maybe we can trade!

Happy Sassy Silly Saturday and basically anything that’s not stressful for you.

🤎

xoxoxoxo, d (and bella)