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Breakfast at Tiffany’s

Ruby in Paradise came out in 1993.

The film won the Grand Jury Prize for Dramatic Feature at the 1993 Sundance Film Festival. It was also nominated for six Independent Spirit Awards.

Ashley Judd  won for Best Female Lead.

And Ashley Judd was mesmerizing.  Her young Ruby was full-of-pain, lost in her world of wondering who and where she should be.

As Ruby wrote in her journal, I heard her talking to my 30-something self,  assuring me I wasn’t the only one out there feeling hurt and unsure about how things would turn out.

When I saw Ruby in Paradise playing tonight, I had to watch.

Ruby in Paradise is on my Breakfast at Tiffany‘s List.

The Breakfast at Tiffany’s List is my list of movies I have to watch immediately when I see them or are reminded of them..

You know what I mean.

You have one too.

So tonight I had to watch Ruby in Paradise.

And I was excited but scared.

Excited because I love the movie, but scared because I don’t like to risk feeling sad on a night I have cartoon deadlines.

It’s difficult to write cartoons when you’re crying.

In case that needed to be explained.

So I’m watching Ruby in Paradise, and it’s just as amazing as always.

And Ashley Judd is even better than always, which she always is.

And I’m prepared to be crying and prepared to feel very, very, very sad.

And then I hear dialogue I could swear I have never heard before.  And it makes me smile.

And I realize that I probably smiled in the past when I heard the dialogue and I just don’t remember smiling.

Since we don’t always remember every time we smile.

But I also realize I’m experiencing the movie as an uplifting movie which is definitely a new thing for this particular film.

It’s what I these days call a “TMS thing.”

Since having transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS), I experience things I didn’t hear before.

Like this, for instance. Like I hear a line in a movie that I never heard before even if I watched the movie a million times.

This happened with a lyric too.

I was listening to Tears for Fears and realized the line was “You CAN change” even though I always thought the word was CAN’T.

I’m sure this sounds hokey, but I have a lot of witnesses who can corroborate my lack of hopefulness after other treatments.

But not now.

Now I am hopeful.

Because now I have experiences like this.

Experiences now, after TMS, that I have just never had before. And each little experience is really amazing.

So there are three takeaways FOR YOU here. Since this blog is for YOU, not me

First, watch Ruby in Paradise immediately. You will love it.

Second, write up your Breakfast at Tiffany’s List! Everyone should have one!

And third, try looking into different treatments.

Look Into different treatments if your condition is not changing for the better.

Trying different treatments is changing my life.

More about TMS here.

And let us know what’s on your Breakfast at Tiffany’s List!

Besides Shawshank Redemption, The Fugitive and To Kill a Mockingbird.

Because those are on everybody’s list, right?  You had better not pass any of those if they are ever on.

Just saying.

xoxoxo, dee (and bella)



The Best OCD Listen Ever.


220,334 views Jun 27, 2022

In this episode, I explain the biology and psychology of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)—a prevalent and debilitating condition. I also discuss the efficacy and mechanisms behind OCD treatments—both behavioral and pharmacologic as well as holistic and combination treatments and new emerging treatments, including directed brain stimulation. I explain the neural circuitry underlying repetitive “thought-action loops” and why in OCD, the compulsive actions merely make the obsessions even stronger. I review cognitive-behavioral therapies like exposure therapy and SSRIs, holistic approaches, and nutraceuticals, detailing the efficacy of each approach and what science says about how to combine and sequence treatments. I describe an often effective approach for treating OCD where clinicians use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to deliberately bring patients into states of high anxiety while encouraging them to suppress compulsive actions in order to help them learn to overcome repetitious thought/action cycles. This episode should interest anyone with OCD, anyone who knows someone with OCD or OCPD, and more generally, those interested in how the brain works to control thoughts and actions, whether those thoughts are intrusive or not.

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00:00:00 Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
00:03:01 Momentous Supplements, AG1 (Athletic Greens), Thesis, Eight Sleep
00:08:28 What is OCD and Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder?
00:11:18 OCD: Major Incidence & Severity
00:15:10 Categories of OCD
00:21:33 Anxiety: Linking Obsessions & Compulsions
00:27:33 OCD & Familial Heredity
00:29:10 Biological Mechanisms of OCD, Cortico-Striatal-Thalamic Loops
00:39:36 Cortico-Striatal-Thalamic Loop & OCD
00:46:39 Clinical OCD Diagnosis, Y-BOCS Index
00:51:38 OCD & Fear, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) & Exposure Therapy
01:01:56 Unique Characteristics of CBT/Exposure Therapy in OCD Treatment
01:10:18 CBT/Exposure Therapy & Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs)
01:22:30 Considerations with SSRIs & Prescription Drug Treatments
01:25:17 Serotonin & Cognitive Flexibility, Psilocybin Studies
01:31:50 Neuroleptics & Neuromodulators
01:36:09 OCD & Cannabis, THC & CBD
01:39:29 Ketamine Treatment
01:41:43 Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS)
01:46:22 Cannabis CBD & Focus
01:47:50 Thoughts Are Not Actions
01:51:27 Hormones, Cortisol, DHEA, Testosterone & GABA
02:00:55 Holistic Treatments: Mindfulness Meditation & OCD
02:03:28 Nutraceuticals & Supplements: Myo-Inositol, Glycine
02:09:45 OCD vs. Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder
02:20:53 Superstitions, Compulsions & Obsessions
02:31:00 Zero-Cost Support, YouTube Feedback, Spotify & Apple Reviews, Sponsors, Momentous Supplements, Instagram, Twitter, Neural Network Newsletter

The Huberman Lab Podcast is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute the practice of medicine, nursing or other professional health care services, including the giving of medical advice, and no doctor/patient relationship is formed. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast is at the user’s own risk. The content of this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their health care professionals for any such conditions.

Title Card Photo Credit:

Mike Blabac –


Not everything is depression.

It never occurred to me that I might not be depressed.

I mean, really.

If all you think about is death, that equals depression, right?

Well, actually, as it turns out, no.

I think about death all the time because my OCD brain is obsessed with death.

As it happens, it’s also obsessed with some other things.

Actually, if you tell my brain that it absolutely cannot obsess about death, it will just find something else more horrible than death to obsess about.

Like torture, for instance. Or war. Or terrorism.

The thing is that my brain is an obsessive brain.

And I have full blown OCD, so I get the compulsions too.

It’s all a great big party of round-the-clock fun, basically.

Wear your ball gown!

But here’s the thing.

I’m not really depressed most of the time.

Which is why it’s been frustrating to be called depressed my whole life.

I get why I was called depressed. I kept trying to hurt myself. I get it. I’m not blaming anyone.

But I am saying now that I think the word depression was thrown around and concluded too liberally and quickly.

I may have been depressed too, but it is now so painfully (pun intended) obvious that depression wasn’t the primary problem,

And I could never figure out why I didn’t feel depressed even though my body felt physically depressed.

I slept all the time and couldn’t make myself do things. But I wasn’t depressed. I was paralyzed.

I had a million interests, a million goals, and a ton of energy.

I loved my people, my pets and my special things in life.

But I had OCD and OCD created an insane mental prison I couldn’t get out of.

And yes, having OCD is depressing. Because it puts your brain on a 24/7 hamster wheel that is just exhausting.

So basically, I was exhausted. All the time.

And exhaustion looks like depression.

But feeling like you’re depressed and looking like you’re depressed doesn’t necessarily mean that’s what you need to focus on.

Depression wasn’t really my problem.

I wanted to do all of the things I wanted to do.

I just couldn’t stay awake. Or keep fighting my brain. Or keep arguing with my brain’s agenda.

I was exhausted and beaten down by my brain. From OCD.

But my mission here is to help others now,

I’m trying to become really informed about how the brain works so I can help other people manage their brains better and faster.

It took me way too long to figure this all out.

And I lost way too much. I don’t want others to keep losing things.

But I am finally beginning to experience relief from my rigid, fixed, hell brain because of some new things I am trying. And I can’t wait to help others find relief too.

But it all starts with knowing what’s wrong.

And for decades the doctors said I was depressed. Case closed.

And I get it. I wanted to die. That’s a thing depressed people think. I get why they called me depressed.

But it turns out that being obsessed with killing one’s self is also a thing that people with OCD might be.

And people with other conditions might be that too.

So learn from my experience.

Look into your pain or your suffering or your problems. Or those of your children.

If whatever you or they have been living with has been going on for way too long, well, I’m just saying, well. You get it.

If you’ve been called treatment resistant, maybe you need a different or more specific diagnosis so alternative treatments are more likely to be pursued.

I wish it had occurred to me to look for a different or more specific diagnosis a way longer time ago, but I was too busy trying to keep my head above water.

And I’m not suggesting you’re not depressed.

If you feel depressed or look depressed, maybe you are.

But maybe it’s something else too. Maybe it’s something else that also resembles depression. Maybe it’s something else that also causes depression. 

Just think about it. Or look into it.

You could be missing out on a treatment that could help you and possibly change your life.

Love and kisses and more laughs coming up I promise.



Coming up.

In the meantime, there are links to helpful resources below!

xoxoxo, dee (and bella)








Credible hope.

False hope is a lie. It will break your trust.

Hope without details is nothing..
It will shatter your confidence if you can’t even imagine what it might possibly look like.

Credible hope is the promise that something is out there.
Something is out there.
Something real. And reasonable. And within reach.

And you should be hopeful
because we are committed
to putting our hands on it as soon as we possibly can
so we can relieve you from your pain.

Telling someone to be hopeful isn’t as helpful as giving them a reason to be hopeful.

Tell them what you will do..
Will you call them? Bring them? Take them?
Will you find a doctor? Research medications? Explore treatment options?

Make a plan right now and say it out loud.
Make a plan and write it down.
Make a plan and text it.
Make sure the person in pain knows what the next step is and how soon the next step will be taken.

Give hope, yes.
But be sure to make it the valuable kind of hope.
The kind of hope that means something now while the pain feels so so so bad.
Make it the kind of credible hope that enables the person to get through one more day.
Or night.
Until things can start getting better.

Maybe It’s Time.


Sometimes the things we’re doing aren’t helping as much as they helped when we first started doing them.
Sometimes it’s time to reevaluate what we’re doing and ask if we still have the same needs?

Because maybe if we stopped and took a look, we would see our needs had changed.
Or maybe we would see our needs were no longer getting met.

Maybe we originally got helped.
And that was good. It was good we got helped.
But maybe we only got helped to a point. 

Maybe we got helped to a point and now we need to get helped from that point to the next point.

So maybe now it’s time to figure out the next thing to do.


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