Some things are forever.
Family is forever.
Whether you like it or not.
Your height is forever, give or take an inch or a few as you age.
Love is forever. Sometimes.
And that’s it. That’s all I can come up with on the forever scale.
So why did I grow up so hooked on forever? I assumed that every sentence ended with “forever” or “forever and ever and ever and ever and ever.”
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
I assumed that meant forever.
But obviously it doesn’t since you can be many things and be them for as lot or as little as you want.
I wanted to be a lawyer. I’m still a lawyer. And I work as a lawyer. Sometimes a lot. Sometimes less than a lot.
But maybe tomorrow I’ll say I’m tired of being a lawyer and I want to be something else.
All I know is that life is a lot easier for me when I add “for now” to my sentences.
I’ll eat Halloween candy for now.
I won’t eat it forever. I probably won’t eat it after Friday or so. But for now, it’s easier to eat Halloween candy than to think about whether or not to eat Halloween candy. It’s easier to just eat it than to figure out my Halloween candy plan, approach, strategy or rules.
It’s just Halloween candy.
I’ll keep my hair this length for now.
Maybe I’ll grow it out soon. Or cut it again. Or whatever. But for now, this is the length it is.
Luckily for me, hair grows pretty fast. Because I change my mind a lot regarding hair length.
I’ll love myself for now.
Because why not.
I’ll do everything I do today for now. Because for now, the things I do today are working.
I’ll eat mostly healthy today. I’ll move my body today. I’ll watch less news today. I’ll laugh more today. I’ll tell a few people I love them today. I’ll keep quiet at times today. I’ll finish my deadlines today. I’ll clean a bit today. I’ll get good sleep today.
And all of it is just for now. Because maybe tomorrow it will make better sense to do things differently.
A few days ago I felt less than good.
I don’t like to say I felt bad because bad is relative and I’m grateful that my personal type of bad isn’t all that bad, relatively speaking.
But, nonetheless, I didn’t feel as good as I prefer to feel.
I felt worried. And anxious. And a little off balance.
Luckily, at that time, I was able to remember that all of those feelings are just for now.
And now, that particular phase of for now is in the past. It’s over. And the scars are barely visible.
For now is the best.
Try it. For now.